The Slow Burnout of Being Trusted But Not Empowered
Are you constantly asked to be the 'pilot' (responsible for the flight) but treated like a 'passenger' (with no control over the cockpit)?
Or, to put it in more everyday terms: It's like being asked to drive a car, but you can't touch the steering wheel or be in control of the fuel, and the route. You're responsible for the destination, but you have no control over how to get there. In other words, you are held accountable for outcomes, but you're stripped of the power to influence them.
If that sounds familiar, you're not alone. After 25 years in the tech world and experience with clients, I saw a pattern. The deepest exhaustion wasn't from long hours. It was from a specific, draining situation and toxic dynamic: the recipe for burnout is responsibility without authority, or being trusted but not empowered.
This constant friction between what you need to achieve and what you're actually allowed to do is what slowly drains your energy. This is where burnout begins long before the long hours.
Your Invitation to a "Quick Check"
I want to invite you to a simple check you can do this week. It takes just a few minutes and can bring a lot of clarity. You can even try both ways and see which one speaks to you more.
The Power Map
Take a moment and think of your 2-3 main responsibilities right now.
For each one, ask yourself: "How much real say do I have here?" Be honest. Maybe you have full control, or maybe you need approval for every step, or perhaps you can only make suggestions, or maybe you have no actual say.
Now, look at the differences. Where is there the biggest gap between what you're responsible for and what you can actually control? Where responsibility exceeds control, that's your burnout zone. That gap is likely where you're feeling the most drained.
The Frustration Filter
For the next two days, keep a small note. Track your moments of peak frustration or stress. For each one, gently ask: "Was I being held accountable for an outcome I couldn't actually influence?" The pattern that emerges will clearly reveal your personal misalignment.
This isn't about avoiding work. It's about spotting where your role is designed to drain your energy, working against you instead of with you.
Your Path Forward: From Friction to Flow
When you see this misalignment clearly, something shifts. You realize the problem isn't just you ("I can't handle this"), it's the situation ("This setup is working against me"). It's the feeling that doing your best is impossible in the wrong environment. And that awareness is the first step toward change.
With this new understanding, you can start to make different choices. You might have a different conversation about your role, or you might decide to focus your energy more wisely on the things where you can actually make a difference.
Finding your way out of this kind of burnout is about noticing and addressing these mismatches and gently correcting them. It's about moving from constant pushing to finding your flow.
If this resonates…
I invite you to try one of the checks this week. What did you notice? Sometimes, just seeing the pattern clearly can bring a sense of relief.
If you see this "responsibility without authority" pattern in your life and you're ready to find a way through it, this is the work I do. You don't have to figure it out alone. Send me a message, I'm here to help.
Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only. It is shared to promote awareness and understanding, not to replace professional medical or psychological advice.
